What happens if your child is on the waitlist?
It’s mid-February and offers are out.
Hopefully the outcomes are good and your child has at least one offer they are happy with. But if they are on the waiting list for their top choice school, I hope this helps to give you some insider advice and tips on how to manage the whole process, their expectations and your own angst.
First – don’t despair and please, please don’t see it as failure – it’s not. It is very simply a numbers game. More on that below. I spent 16 years making offers and running waiting lists, and I can tell you it’s nerve wracking for us too! I wanted those kids – a waiting list place does not mean we are too scared to say no – as I say it is just numbers. So here is some context and my advice on how to deal with it.
Why do we have waiting lists?
It is a numbers game. Schools need to fill their places, but they cannot overfill – a Science Lab only has 24 benches and no more can be slipped in. An extra class means an extra coach for trips, more staff, more dining room space, etc, etc. Overfilling is as bad as being under. All schools over offer – they have to – no-one has a 100% conversion rate (or at least I don’t think they do!) and there is no exact science or algorithm to it. Conversion rates fluctuate year on year and it’s not always easy to predict numbers. Offering a number outright and putting others on the waiting list is not ideal for everyone but the only way it can work. As I say it doesn’t mean failure – I think of it as a second wave of offers – that’s what it is really. And remember – although others will be holding offers you want, you’re likely holding offers they want and children can only go to one school – they have to turn them down at some point.
Timescale
If I could do one thing to help with the Admissions process, particularly in London, it would be to shorten the timescale between offers and acceptances. Schools work to agreed dates – or should – they don’t always – with all offers due to go out around half-term in February. That doesn’t matter so much as the acceptance date which should be – but isn’t always – a common date. That does lead to problems. There is roughly three weeks – a long time including half-term when little moves – for people to respond. In that time, schools hold Offer Holders’ Evenings/Days/Taster Events/offer private tours/meetings with staff all in a bid to get people to convert. That holds things up of course as people want to do that before they decide. I’m afraid it is a case of holding your nerve and knowing it might go to the wire in early March, but you should have an indication by then of how likely it is. People are notoriously slow to answer and it’s not unknow for schools to be chasing answers the day before closing date.
A word on closing date – for me everything finished at noon on that date in early March every year and waiting lists no longer exist after that. Or shouldn’t. But there is generally a bit of last-minute movement over the next few days – it is always possible you will get a call a couple of days after that, maybe two weeks after that as people move around – waiting list places are offered at one school and then the rest all end up having space. There is the issue of losing a deposit but as they are all playing the game then, they are likely to replace your child with another. Further down the line, spaces are occasionally offered in August, even at start of term. If you really want it, make sure the Admissions Team know you would jump at any point.
Position
Some schools will tell you where your child is on the list – others don’t. I erred on the side of caution and didn’t give out exact places – partly because I didn’t want to either raise or lower expectations and partly because things change – someone may decide not to stay on the list and things shift round. And I also wanted to know who really wanted the place – see communicate below!
So what should you do?
Communicate
The first thing you should do is contact the Admissions Office to confirm that you want to remain on the list. Not everyone will do so and if they have to chase you it will look like disinterest. If you are keen, be in touch immediately. I encouraged people to contact me – the more I hear from you, the more I know you are keen and will take the place when offered. Ask your Head to contact the Admissions team too – that always helps, particularly if they genuinely believe it is the right school for your child. A good Director of Admissions will have strong relationships with Heads and would expect such contact. Keep in contact throughout – again a good Admissions team will be in touch with you regularly, but a daily phone call/email just to show you really want it, is always helpful. Build a relationship with the Admissions team (normally the Director runs the waiting list). If you get signals that you are bothering them, and they ask you not to ring, ask yourself if that’s the sort of school you want!
Respond and be clear
Clearly you have to hold on to one offer in case the waiting list place doesn’t come through. But if you know that is the one you will take, please, please, please stand down all the rest. Waiting lists cannot move until schools have a clear enough picture of their likely numbers, and people hanging on to offers just does not help. Encourage others who are holding offers to do the same. Be very clear – talk to your child and their school – about what you want so that once the call comes, and you are offered that place, you don’t dither but say yes – we’ll take it. Be ready to take it. If you want to visit the school will do all they can to arrange it but as waiting list places are very often offered at the very last minute, that might not be possible.
Keep the faith
I know it’s hard but do try to remain positive, not least for your child’s sake. If you seem negative about it, they will pick that up. There is a balance to be struck between keeping them enthused about the school they haven’t yet got a place at and starting to enthuse them about the school they will possibly go to instead. That is tough. But keep things light and don’t share your angst with them. And please try not to talk to others – so much playground chatter and it can be very misleading. But if you do talk to them, encourage them to answer their offers!
I actually enjoyed running the waiting list – I loved getting to know the families, and the best, best feeling was ringing to offer the place – a fantastic feeling. I worked round the clock for those few weeks to get things to move and make my second wave of offers. What I’ve set out is very much how I did it – all schools are different. But there is a right way to do it to maximise your chances – and talking to me will help! If come 10 February your child is on the wait list for their first choice, you need to call me.
I will guide you through it and be there to celebrate with you when it works out. I’d like that.