Working with children with Special Educational Needs (SEN)
Below is some information, tips and practical advice for mentors and parents working with a student that has Special Educational Needs.
Setting Boundaries – At the Start
From the beginning, it’s important to clarify:
Who you are: your name, your role (a mentor)
How often you’ll be seeing them
Why you’re there (to help)
If you’re working with a student that has violent behaviour of any sort it’s helpful to ac- knowledge that you want to give that student, the space to make decisions for themselves (autonomy) however there are some occasions where you will have to step in:
If they are threatening/harming other people in any way
If they are threatening/harming themselves
Top Tip: some students might switch off whenever you ‘talk seriously’. You can communicate this in a ‘non-serious manner by gamifying it e.g., turn it into a fun quiz.
Setting Boundaries – Whilst You Work
Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or Attention Deficit (Hyperactive) Disorder (AD(H)D) can be highly reactive to any form of boundaries. They might be so used to adults telling them what they can and can’t do. As a mentor, we have an opportunity to speak to them in a different way. We’re not their parents or teachers.
Here are some tips for setting boundaries as a mentor:
Empathy before education: Before you set the boundary make sure your mentees feel like their feelings and thoughts have been heard and validated.
Give the mentee choice: ‘You have two choices we can either… or we can… what would you like to do?’.
Use reason: Instead of saying something like: ‘put the book down now it’s break time’ you could say: ‘it’s break time now if we don’t stop reading now, we’ll miss some break’.
Use reason: Instead of saying something like: ‘put the book down now it’s break time’ you could say: ‘it’s break time now if we don’t stop reading now, we’ll miss some break’.
Giving Praise
Praise is very important.
However, there are some points to be aware of:
Students with ASD and AD(H)D are often hypersensitive, and this means they pick up on an adult’s authenticity more. If you’re giving praise, make sure it’s genuine and not ‘fake adult praise’.
If you’re working with a student that is seen by others as a ‘problem child’, shifting this narrative will require positive reinforcement of the new behaviour to affirm the new story as ‘the comeback kid’ or ‘most improved’.
Be conscious of over-rewarding as this can create a dependency on rewards. Reward often but randomly.
Regulation & Dysregulation
“Regulation (of the nervous system) does not mean to calm; it means to connect.” - Lisa Dion
When a student is angry the anger can often activate our own defences, adding more anger to the anger. Staying measured amidst someone else’s anger is a real skill that takes practice.
Here are some tools that have helped me:
Hold an awareness of yourself when the student is angry. Notice how your body is responding to the anger. Are you tensing up? Can you feel any sensations in your belly?
Breathe and elongate your exhale. In for 4 and a long slow extended exhale. You can do this very subtly whilst engaging with the student you’re working with. This soothes our nervous system and helps to regulate ourselves.
By staying regulated around a distressed student, the student will gradually learn to regulate themselves.
There are often patterns surrounding a student’s triggers. Understanding these patterns can help us to remain regulated. Here are questions we can ask to deepen our understanding:
What dysregulates the student? What are their noticeable triggers? Perhaps it’s: being spoken to in a demanding way, being asked to do ‘work’, raising your voice, loud environments, lack of space or a change in timetable and structure.
What helps the student to regulate? Take notice. Some helpful regulatory activities: Going outside for fresh air, running around, reading, playing a game, having a fun conversation, playing music, and going to a soft area or quiet space.
Managing Parental Relationships
Be conscious of using labels as some families don’t like to label their children as having AD(H)D or ASD.
Transparency is key. If the student had a challenging day inform the parent in the feedback. Use factual observations to explain what happened. For example: ‘Felix ran out of the classroom today. I noticed he seemed unsettled as he couldn’t sit down’.
Offer strategies. Identify the areas that you think the student needs to work on and offer some strategies to the parents.
Working with Technology
Using technology can be a very powerful way of calming a student. However, it can be consuming and take away from your work together.
Our only tip is:
Use technology with a time boundary. For example, set a timer for 10 minutes and remind the student how much time is left.
The Pomodoro Technique (for focus)
For any students that struggle to focus this is an invaluable tool. The Pomodoro technique works like this:
You take a 5-minute break every 25 minutes using a timer.
Every 3rd set of 25 minutes you take a 15-minute break.
For younger students with limited attention spans you can set your own timer e.g., 5 minutes and take breaks when you feel is best.
Top Tip: Notifying students of the time they have left can really help with their motivation.